DAY 25: On Commitment

DAY 25: On Commitment

March 10, 2011
8:11 am

It’s amazing what had happened since my last journal entry around this time yesterday. It solidifies in my mind why this work is so important. Yes, there were moments this week where I would have quit. But after acknowledging those feelings yesterday and climbing the ECL, it caused me to make different decisions. I was able to speak more clearly from my heart to one of the churches I really wanted to speak for. A prospective partner and I connected on a much deeper level. I was able to extract enough information from meetup.com to begin re-launching my website today - possibly rewording my intentions to make this latest venture even more powerful. All of this happened not because anything outside of me changed - it was because I had changed!

This is the lesson the Desert teaches us. It teaches us to “tune into” ourselves and generate our greatest power from within. I believe this is the heart of the Hero’s Journey Quest - in fact, it is this phase which is associated with the heart chakra.

This Quest is now about commitment: It is in this moment, and every moment, that we commit ourselves to waking up within (from?) our unconscious existence and become conscious of what is being created in this moment. Are we creating out of guilt, fear, greed or anger - or are we creating out of trust, love, joy and peace? How do we know the difference?

Since it was so enjoyable and productive yesterday, I’m going to engage in the Ladder exercise again today. This is my commitment to myself on this Quest - to be more aware of my emotional state and use this exercise, whenever possible, to choose a new emotional state at will. This is what I wish to impart upon my readers - this exercise should be done on a daily basis and not considered a one-time "quick fix". It was because I engaged in this training yesterday that I may start higher on the ladder. Today emotions like shame, guilt, apathy, fear, greed and anger don’t serve me. Today I’ll start higher with “Pride”…

Pride: I’m proud of my decisions yesterday. I’m proud that I was able to change my emotional state at will. I’m proud of the way I can speak from my heart. I’m proud that I can write things like this and not be afraid of my imperfect writing style. I’m proud of the forward momentum everyone I touch is experiencing. I’m proud of what my life represents.

Courage: Courage today is reaching out to another organization. Courage is doing something that scares me. Courage is redesigning the video journaling meetup group. Courage is calling an old friend whom I’ve lost touch with. Courage is continuing this Quest. Courage is publicly declaring my Quest through this blog. Courage is showing up every day to report on this 60 Day Quest.

Trust: As I said yesterday, I trust the 60 Day Quest process. I trust people are genuinely good at heart. I trust my services are needed. I trust in my setbacks as a call for greater wisdom. I trust in the power of taking action. I trust at least one person will read these words and he or she will do something with this tool. I trust in my own good intentions. I trust in my own generosity because I’m posting this valuable tool on my blog which anyone can access for free. I trust I never have to doubt my good heart again.

Willingness: I’m willing to finish today’s blog. I’m willing fulfill my obligations to my partners by working on their videos today. I’m willing to deepen my communication. I’m willing to be present for all my communications today. I’m willing to take time, slow down, and enjoy my Quest more. I’m willing to have more fun on my Quest. I’m willing to play.

Acceptance/Forgiveness: I accept that I’m truly happy in this moment. I forgive myself and others for the things I have to identify in which need to be forgiven. I accept that I’m an imperfect person with noble intentions. I forgive myself and others for not taking the time to clarify our message to each other. I accept that there’s power given through me, not because of me. I forgive myself, my unconscious mind, for sabotaging me at times.

Clarity: There’s clarity in that this exercise organizes the mind and opens the heart. Clarity is knowing answers lie in daily, consistent actions. Clarity is using emotion to communicate more than words. Clarity is looking for someone’s heart, not their ego. Clarity is felt just as much as seen, maybe even more “felt” than “seen”. Clarity slows down time, speeds up action and increases one’s productivity.

Love: I love this moment. I love the imperfect tool of this laptop for the feelings I’ve been able to generate through this exercise. I love this feeling growing AT THIS MOMENT in my heart and stomach. I love that everything has lead me to this point. I love what today is going to be. I love what today already is - rainy weather and all! I love the rain.

Joy: Joy is knowing I can do this every day of my life. Joy is knowing I’m succeeding at a Quest to make a living doing what I truly love. Joy is everybody winning. Joy is right here, right now. Joy is this feeling. Joy is what I’m experiencing typing these words on my laptop. Joy is simple. Joy is creation. Joy is letting go.
Peace: Peace is the center of my emotional whirlwinds. Peace is all paradoxes accepted as they are. Peace is a frozen moment where matter and anti-matter are touching but not yet colliding. Peace is sublime. Peace is in this moment if we choose to see it.

Enlightenment: Yes, please.

Michael Shoemn
The Committed Life Artist (whether that means "committed" in the straight-jacket sense is yet to be determined)