Start Dreaming Again
by Tara McFalls
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I remember the wolf. The story of a wolf’s piercing blue eyes and his unrelenting, paralyzing gaze into my shuttering, faceless presence came to me in cascades of grey when I was thirteen years old. My own imagination left me frozen with fear, apprehensive about the shadow that even my own body cast. I remember furiously writing the story into my journal; then closing my eyes and allowing sleep to protect me from the intensity and the fatigue that overwhelmed my mind and body. Upon awakening, I felt charged with energy and I felt like running, somehow expelling the potential physical and emotional vibrations from my body. This release would be my restless campaign to spite the fear induced by the wolf’s image that now lingered within the tingling turrets of my consciousness. In the subsequent moments, I unconsciously recognized a salient moment of choice paired with action. Would I confront or would I abscond this opportunity? I chose to run deeper into the woods and in so doing immersed myself in an abyss that knew no light, no shadow, only the overbearing heaving inhalations of the wolf’s omnipresent burdens.
“Start Dreaming Again”. These were the three words spoken to me by a dear friend three days ago that are now the catalyst for embarking upon the 60 day quest as initiated by the creative muse and author Mike Shoeman. When you have allowed the nightmare to consume you, your mind, body, and spirit forgets what it feels like to dream. Suddenly, I felt as though I was embracing the raiments of a new era evolving not just in my own life but in the cyclical spirals of the human and natural entanglements of interdependence. I have decided to continue the story I first wrote and thereby confront the wolf and bear witness to the fear it induces.
The goal of my 60 day quest is immersion. At the end of 60 days I want to be immersed in a creative endeavor, in a relationship, or in a new discovery that exposes my “self” to the bold courage and talent that lies within. At the end of the quest I want to feel re-energized by recognizing and accepting a bold new vision I have for myself which broadens and reveals the strengths I have and the creativity I still yearn to share. I have never believed that I have ever had anything of great worth to offer the world. This 60 day quest is to prove to myself that I do. I hope to begin this self-exploration by writing every day- reflecting on the experiences I have and exposing myself at least once a week to a new group of people that may or may not respect what I have to offer. Regardless of the tenor of the outcome, I know I will learn. So by the end of this week, I hope to see a new aspect of myself reflected in the mindful exchange with another.
If I ruled the world, no one would leave me without feeling better.
If I ruled the world, never would a child cry from feeling shame.
If I ruled the world, everyone would understand and respect the notion that taking the time to know someone and the gifts they bring to others is a priceless endeavor meant to be savored, not overlooked.
If I ruled the world, people would take a moment before they speak in order to fully listen.
If I ruled the world, all children would feel valued for their inimitable nature.
If I ruled the world, mindful silence would earn more attention and respect than verbosity drunk on the ego.
If I ruled the world, I would have the strength and courage to direct my passion to meet the world’s need.
If I ruled the world, everyone would see life as art to be created rather than simply admired.
If I ruled the world, people would smile more and judge less.
If I ruled the world, the shadows would be just as beautiful and just as riveting as the light’s escapades.
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