DAY 31: Expected Chaos

DAY 31: Expected Chaos

March 16, 2011
8:15am

It never ceases to amaze me how accurate this Quest path seems to be. I recognize that our focus truly does determine our reality, that much of what we experience on the Quest is merely a suggestion, but internally I’m truthfully feeling the uprooted sensation promised in the Plot Twist. I believe that by following my heart on the Video Journal project will deliver me safely and joyfully to my stated Quest’s outcome. At the same time I can’t help but feel this can also be a distraction. This is also a quality of the Plot Twist - being prone to distraction.

Emotionally I’m all over the place! Things are moving fast but not fast enough! At other times, sometimes within a few moments, I feel like I need to slow down! What’s up is down and what was down is up! Yet I’m still taking daily action.

Yesterday I continued to reach out to about 10 meetups per day. This time I’ve been connecting directly with organizers and telling them about the Destiny 5 Video Journal project. As far as my national tour is concerned, I’m wondering whether or not I couldn’t spend 9 weeks in a city, shoot a video journal series, and continue to do one to two day workshops in whichever region I’m working in. This could provide a little more stability in my travels and continue to pile on the viewable content of what the Destiny 5 Quest is all about.

We play the game “Cue Cards” during this phase. We’ll play this at our upcoming meetup on the 20^th. To get you prepared for this I ask you to identify PEOPLE, PLACES, FEELINGS and IDENITIES that happen before and after your Plot Twist moments.

So what were these elements at the beginning of my Quest?

PEOPLE:
The original Destiny 5 consisting of Serena, Melanie, Debra Leigh and Jessica
Theater Colleagues
Personal Training Clients

PLACES:
The Theater
The Gym
Living in my Car

FEELINGS:
Frustration
Wonder
Determination

IDENTITIES:
Writer
Trainer
Actor
Teacher

What do I want these elements to be at the end of my Quest?

PEOPLE:
New Clients
New Destiny 5 Members in the Video Journaling process (represented by the members of my new meetup - www.meetup.com/destiny5philadelphia)
New Partners - represented by members of my M3 meetup

PLACES:
Different Cities (Atlanta, Seattle, Toronto, NYC, Orlando)
Large Workspace to Shoot D5 Video Journals
Hotels/Renting Rooms in different cities

FEELINGS:
Pride
Security
Power
Compassion

IDENTITIES:
“The 60 Day Career Alchemist”
The Quest Authority
Traveling Mentor
Would-be Father

Okay, time to do my calibrations and on with the day.

Mike
Michael Shoeman
The Shapeshifting Life Artist

CALIBRATIONS:

Fear: I’m afraid that I’m losing my Quest. I fear this being the wrong course of action. I’m afraid that this path, good as it feels, is leading me back to Nowheres Ville. I fear not finishing the editing of the book. I fear all of these partnerships bottoming out on me. I fear not reaching my expectations. I fear being stuck in my mental world. I’m afraid of repeating past patterns. I fear being so exhausted that I won’t be able to produce anything when all is said and done.

Desire: I want everything to work right now! I want 1000 people on my new meetup instantly! I want growth and expansion at every moment. I want encouragement all the time. I want money in the bank now! I want to complete my Quest before the 60 Days expire. I want quadruple the amount I originally intended. I want tangible results right now. I want to leave this old life behind. I want to immerse myself in my joy all the time. I want this process to move faster, easier and in more abundance than I even thought possible.

Anger: I’m angry that there’s something to understand here. I’m angry that there’s really nothing tangible to hold onto yet! I’m angry that there’s no one here to help me push my book forward. I’m angry that no one is following up in regard to the book! I’m angry that I can’t seem to make a few simple phone calls. I’m angry that I’m afraid my own book is inferior. I’m angry that no one takes initiative. I’m angry that my plans are being held up! I’m angry, frustrated and overwhelmed that I can’t write the perfect book!

Pride: I’m proud that I’m on this Quest. I’m proud that I do many things very well. I’m proud that I work at this every day. I’m proud of the new habits I’m developing. I’m proud of the power I’m amassing in this Quest. I’m proud that my laptop was spared from having tea spilled on it! I’m proud of the progress my meetup is experiencing. I’m proud of my Video Journaling concept. I’m proud that people are excited about it! I’m proud of my determination and tenacity demonstrated by this journal everyday! I’m proud that even if I lose I win.

Trust: I trust that this is leading somewhere. I trust that my feelings in this stage of The Plot Twist is natural. I trust that these feelings serve me. I trust in doing this exercise. I trust people want to work with me. I trust that all my exchanges are mutual. I trust that I have value beyond that which I even know about. I trust in my value. I trust what happens the moment I start. I trust myself in the hidden genius that even I sometimes fail to acknowledge.

Willingness: I’m willing to ride these emotional waves. I’m willing to continue this journal and my audio program. I’m willing to recognize someone’s desires. I’m willing to build this foundation. I’m willing to embrace my new role. I’m willing to develop this powerful emotional skill. I’m willing to see how these emotions create powerful results. I’m willing to acknowledge the results. I willing to see this Quest through to completion. I’m willing to reexamine what’s working.

Acceptance/Forgiveness: I accept that I’m supposed to be feeling disoriented right now in this phase of the Quest. I fully forgive the disappointments of my past. I accept that everything happens for a reason and that reason is to be fully present for these Quest proceedings. I forgive and release my expectations. I accept that even more than my expectations can easily be brought before me. I forgive the powerful in this moment. I accept that I might forgive the powerful more often.

Clarity: I’m clear about how powerful the video medium is. I’m clear that my productivity is increasing. I’m clear that I’m supported. Clarity is allowing myself to be lost right now. Clarity is knowing what this Quest represents. I’m clear that this exercise serves me. There’s clarity in breathing. Clarity is being still in this feeling. Clarity is accepting this feeling. I’m clear that I have more energy to direct to my purpose.

Love: I love the space I have to explore my thoughts. I love communicating. I love the people that have been brought into my life. I love that I have a home space to create my life art. I love life art. I love that I have the opportunity to approach others in love. I’m grateful for the abundance of activity I have to live my highest purpose. I love that my emotions are rising.

Joy: Joy is having people enthusiastically WANTING to be a part of my endeavors. Joy is creation. Joy is ease and effortlessness in creating abundance. Joy is committing to abundance. Joy is now seeing that I choose Joy. Joy is revisiting joy like a good friend. Joy truly is letting go. Joy is choosing to do what I love to do. Joy is the commitment of doing what I love to do.

Peace: Peace is completion. Peace is an embrace. Peace is the silence between sounds. Peace is the reaction of all action. Peace is merging with the Divine. Peace is a feeling I have right now. Peace is acceptance. Peace is allowing. Peace is inherent. Peace is.

Enlightenment flows. The moment you identify it in this existence it alludes you. So I’ll stop here.